My printer hates me. It has obviously joined forces with the toaster (which takes an evil delight at spitting my toast out onto the floor whenever I turn my back on it for a second. It never does it when I'm ready and waiting though - oh no.)
Like the toaster, this printer does whatever it can to annoy me. It flashes up 'low ink' warnings when I know I've just put in a new cartridge. It gobbles said ink up with a devilish hunger. It prints things squint when it knows I'm just about to actually run out of ink and a deadline is approaching and it makes paper just disappear. Grrrr.
That is all.